you're an adult now

how time flies. a peer of yours turned 21 today. it occured to me that you've turned 21 as of 18 june this year as well.

wonder how you celebrated that day. did your mum buy you a nice cake and have it cut for your friends when they came over? hope you had a great time.

i remember when i turned 21, it was quite quiet. no big parties. just a small dinner with friends, who at that point didn't even know it was my birthday. that was cool. that was the best dinner i had cos i shared my remaining hours of the day with friends that i call brothers for eternity, brothers i grew up with.

so have you cleared your ippt yet?


posted by charlieboy at 8:11 AM

Your New Life

I heard it from the grapevine that you are enlisting. That unknown has finally come, hasn't it? Remember you used to fear the possibility of going through these common stories you've heard.

Be strong. Take courage. Stand up and fight the good fight. You will do well. I know deep within you, you have the strength to overcome. And you've got those lovely folks who will come see you at your parade. They will put on you the emblem you've overcome and you will cry many tears of gratitude.

We've all been there and I am kinda glad you will too. It's something too good to be missed. Make sure you make each moment count. Think when you lie in bed to sleep. Pray when you squat in the dungeons. Sing when you scrub out the blues. Cheer when you drink it all up. Love when you need it the most.

Take heart. I will be waiting for you at the end of the race. We'll go for breakfast together.

Love your life hard!
posted by charlieboy at 8:28 AM

Wondering

Just thinking of you. Not as intense as it used to. Can deal with it now. Now that you are probably somewhere else. Out of my sight and grasp. Wish you knew how I feel right now. Sigh. Do you know you're the best person in my life? Probably the closest and most satisfying I've ever gotten.

Keep well my love. Keep your head high up. Hope to meet you again on the other side of this town. And hopefully this time, I won't pretend to not know you. I shall chance to give you the big hug you gave me when you first touched me.

Love you.
posted by charlieboy at 6:43 AM

The Empty

Thought I saw you in my dreams that day. Must have been me hallucinating again. I wish I had the courage to call you and ask you how you were. I miss you. And I hope you know that. Do you know I miss you.

I think I know what you will say. That you know that I miss you. And you missed me too. How easy it would be not to look beyond the lie. But I still miss you. Still love you. Just the way you are. Just the way you were. I wonder how you are now. How you look. Have you lost weight. Put on more pounds. How's that skin rash? Are you going to miss the army?

Funny how you would look. Don't know how I would react. Or pretend for that matter. You're still with that youthful vigour. Which I hope you never lose. You still have 5 more years and after to prove yourself. But the rate you're going, it might turn out otherwise. I have faith in you. In what you want to do. Just don't hurt another person. Nor carelessly bed another soul.

Goodnight sweet love.
posted by charlieboy at 7:22 AM

Hello, I miss you …

Finally, I’m admitting. Admitting that I miss you. Admitting that I hated the way I wanted to be the one walking away when really, you walked out on me quietly without a word of warning. I missed you ever since. Don’t know why I had that stone wall placed around my heart.

I miss you. Miss your reassuring smile. Miss your soft hands over mine. Miss your fingers crossed with mine. Miss your palms resting on the blades of my shoulders.

Miss you, love. Miss your fresh laundered t-shirts and over sized overalls. Miss your scent hovering over me as I wait for my lunch. Miss your messages during the empty breaks. Miss your calls over a cup of hot soup. Miss your voice when I needed to hear a familiar chuckle. Miss your feverish temple wet with anxiety.

I miss you and I love you. I miss having you close by. I miss having you just a phone call away. I miss the empty promises of immediacy and support. I miss the broken down lies that made it still so sweet.

Miss you. Painfully, missing you. Want to fly out, back into the space where you once dwelt. And lie down on the pavement we both once walked upon. Maybe the wind would take me away. Maybe the dust will bury me deep underneath. Cos sometimes, I’d rather lose my breath than to have you out of reach.

Do you still think of me?

posted by charlieboy at 7:57 AM